Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
