took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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