Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
