Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
