your parents love me but you hate me
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
How's work?
Spinning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
