so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
