dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
