bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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