turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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