YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
