She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
