Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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