why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
