True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He had one of those small greek statue penises
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize