Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
