I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
