he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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