3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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