He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
