Betty ford says i'm here all night
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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