I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
