Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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