i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize