I want to walk on stilts...naked
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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