i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
