I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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