Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
