Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
