i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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