I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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