We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
