I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
