I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
