Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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