i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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