i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
