I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
