i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to make out with him forever
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
