When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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