From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
