I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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