woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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