I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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