I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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