I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
