One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Randomize
