Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
