Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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