He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
