absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
