Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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