i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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