Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
