Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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