From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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