Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
