I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
