my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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