She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
