Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
