We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
