No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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