i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
