I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
