OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Nicole vs. Life
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
