SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
